You know what? I hate the phrase "coming out". It insinuates that I have been hiding something from everyone around me, and that's simply not true. I have always tried to be authentically me, even if I didn't conveniently label myself for everyone just yet.
So, I guess this is my story of when I slapped a label on myself...
Before we even get into it, let me tell you that coming out is not easy. It's being the most honest and vulnerable you have probably ever been in your life, and allowing others to see that.
Personally, the idea of coming out to my friends and family all separately and having to explain it to each and every one of them sounded like a nightmare to me, for two reasons:
I had to speak to my family
I would have to do it more than once
And if you know me, I'd rather just get it done and over with as soon as possible.
That's why my genius led me to making a video.
OKAY- so right here I was going to take a break from writing and watch my coming out video, but honestly - I cannot bring myself to do it.
I haven't seen it since posting, and I am not watching it again in my life.
Looking back at it, maybe I should have just posted an insta story and called it a day, at least then I could read-back what I wrote and not cringe every time I was reminded of it.
So, I posted that horrendous video... and waited for people's responses.
All of you have been extremely supportive and kind. Even people I haven't spoken to for a while reached out to congratulate me on coming out. That love and support that I received was so unexpected, I couldn't believe so many of you cared so much about me and my journey.
The video currently has 1.8 thousand views, and I'm happy to say that my action helped other young trans people accept themselves. So, in the end it was worth it.
Now that I have been 'out' for four months, it just feels so right and natural. Of course I don't look stunning every day (tbh I barely look stunning once a year), but I've never been happier.
The reason I felt like I wanted to come out, is not for anyone else but myself.
For years I didn't know exactly who I was, and to be honest - I don't think many of us still have it figured out. But when I think about my future, and what a happy Seb would look like, I would just be me.
... and that's exactly what I have been doing.
Once you learn to love and accept yourself for who you are, no matter your gender identity, weight, or sexuality - you will just be happy. And your actions will reflect love and kindness toward yourself - because I don't feel like we are kind enough to ourselves at times, and being able to be kind to yourself, can open many doors for you.
I know that I am a trans women, and 95% of you reading this won't be, but the message is the same, and I WILL take it to my grave (or at least have it engraved - you know what? I might be cremated so I don't know... anyway -) when you learn to love yourself, you forget about what others think, and you can truly be authentically yourself.
I wish happiness and self love to every single person I come across in life, because that is the best gift you can give to yourself.
I guess this blog is a way of connecting with you guys and updating you about everything that is and will be happening along my path, so thank you for taking the time to read it. I really appreciate it.
I love you guys <3