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My Brother is My Sister

Updated: Dec 16, 2020

Okay, so I asked my sister to write an article about me.

No pointers, no guidelines - just her thoughts about me and my transition.

Yes, I am crying writing this.

Enjoy the article.

The transition from a male to a female is no doubt a challenge for any individual who chooses to undergo such changes. I am forever proud of anyone that is determined to be happy, and is willing to do whatever it might take, whether it's pursuing your life around negative stigmas or plain judgement from those around you, to be able to genuinely smile in the mirror. So, it goes without saying, that I am immensely proud of my brother, Seb, which is currently embracing himself as my sister, Sebrina. She has endured so much during her transition and hand on heart I could not do the same. Sebrina is mentally strong and, maybe sometimes perceived as selfish, takes care of herself to care for the ones around her. Super proud of you Seb(rina)! (I will refer to Seb(rina) as Seb from when I perceived him as a brother, and as Sebrina when I perceived her as a sister).

You may wonder, if there were any signs that Seb might one day want to become a female? The answer is yes and no. There are never distinctive signs that a brother may one day become a sister, but Seb had always acted feminine. More-so than me, actually. When we were little and knew nothing but playing and having fun, my parents were usually friends with people that had kids of their own, a boy and a girl. When we used to meet up, there was an obvious divide. I used to hang out with the boys, either gaming or watching TV, and Seb would hang out with the girls, usually playing with dolls and making up funny characters. I have always remembered Seb to be hanging around with girls, in primary, high school and even college. I was once again the opposite, I was always found on a football pitch or watching gaming videos. You could say that Seb and I should’ve swapped bodies to match our personalities, but that’s what makes us, us.

In high school, I remember Seb standing out from our friendship group, probably because the group was mainly made up of my friends, but Seb felt comfortable around me, so he joined in. However, it got to a certain time and age where I wanted to be independent of my brother, thinking it would benefit him in the same way. Once I explained to my friends that I wanted some more freedom (never a good idea to have a sibling that can report back to mum when I do something against family rules), they were happy to give him stick. I thoroughly disagreed with this. It made me really upset to see my friends trying to push Seb out of our friendship group and it upset me even more how eager they were to do so. In the end I told my friends to back off, but Seb had finally plucked up the courage to find friends of his own, which was more than I could ask for. Whilst Seb was in our friendship group, my friends asked me if he was gay because he would act rather feminine around us. I repeatedly said that I don’t know but did agree with them that he did act camp. Subconsciously, there was a thought of my brother being more like my sister, which I really did not mind. I didn’t know a different Seb and he was always someone I could turn to, so no matter which gender he might’ve identified with at the time, he was still family and I was happy just the way he was.

We are part of a Polish family with traditionalistic views on life, the Catholic way of living, let's say. My parents have always been strict and fairly narrow-minded, making Sebrina's journey to happiness especially hard. A few years ago, Seb decided to go vegetarian, which my parents thoroughly disagreed with. They would make sly comments about him no longer eating meat and convince him he would be malnourished. That’s because, in the Polish society, vegetarianism isn’t embraced or supported and therefore must have negative effects on the crazy individual that chooses to starve themselves as part of an unconvincingly ‘healthy lifestyle’. Ok, so now imagine the same people trying to accept that their son wants to be their daughter. Imagine the disgust on their faces, the lack of support and how alienated you feel from the only consistent thing you have experienced in your life. We moved to England when we were 7 and 5, even though we didn’t move much, our parents were the only thing that was kept constant since we immigrated. Knowing the already diminished emotional support Seb received would be now near to non-existent due to his choice crushes me.

Therefore, knowing Seb(rina) will read this, keep bloody going sis. If this is your path to happiness, I want you to know I will forever be by your side, and even though we are shit at expressing our emotions, I hope we can stand tall together. I am super proud and supportive of who you have already become, spreading happiness and positivity to those around you, educating people on touchy subjects and bringing inspiration to those that look up to you (including me). I hope anyone reading this can empathise with you and help you build your foundations to a better life, without judgement or hate. As long as you are yourself, you will always be my younger sibling and I am glad to be cheering you on from the side-line. I love you.

Wiktoria Fatz

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1 comentário

17 de nov. de 2020

Magnificent testimony very touching which can only replace the great speeches. Love knows how to put right words on the evils and joys for a loved one. Peace & love to both of you. ☮️💟 Dan ^^

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