Following on from My Secondary School Experience (1), Sixth Form was much easier and a happier experience for me. So yes, it does get better .
At the start of sixth form I tried to follow the same principles as I did in secondary school, but that soon changed.
... with friends
I guess I kind of opened up during sixth form.
I got sick of guessing what others might think of me, and I just did whatever I wanted to.
And for the first time, I actually didn't feel uncomfortable expressing myself. I laughed louder and more obnoxious than ever before.
My friends really helped me be happy during sixth form, they showed me that I am capable of being liked just the way I am, and I don't need to change for anyone (little did they know, I would be changing a lot).
... as a student
I was okay at my academic subjects, but A levels are no joke.
I studied Biology, Chemistry and Polish.
I must admit, I did actually really enjoy all my subjects - even though chemistry and biology were challenging.
I was able to do well enough to get into a University to study my dream course, so what more could I have asked for? The knowledge I learnt from my A levels carried me through my first year as a cosmetics science student, so I'm not complaining.
... as a council member
I'm not sure if many of you will be familiar with the term 'council member'... allow me to explain.
In our Sixth Form, we had an 'elected' group of students (I used the word 'elected' very, very loosely here) who were part of the council and represented different sector of school life... all you need to know, is that my dumb ass ran for head boy.
I know. I'm just as uncomfortable writing this as you are reading this... but it gets worse.
So, obviously I didn't get that position (thank god). But thankfully, I was able to get a ministerial position no one has heard of before, because you know... my sixth form handed out stickers for participation.
I ended up being the first and best Minister of Media and Publicity. Yes, my ass basically kept the council in check alongside the help of Miss R.
The funny thing is, I don't think the council has ever had a minister that actually did their job to a good standard - because the amount of times I got praised for doing what I was supposed to is unbelievable. I was thinking "Okay, I get it, I am actually making my pledges come true - is this really that big of a shock?"
But I guess it was, since one of the council members, (Karen don't give me that look), didn't even write his pledges - I guess he was just there for the ride. I'm not bitter, you are.
But do you know what? I'm actually super grateful that I was able to get the position. It taught me so much about myself, about other people - and how to really work with people, or in some cases, avoiding working with some people.
... as a trans teen
Going through Sixth Form knowing that you're in the wrong body is scary to say the least.
Up until Sixth Form I tried to bottle these feelings up and never go back to them. But then, I finally felt comfortable with myself. Well, that and being exhausted of being the person everyone expected me to be.
The most difficult part of Sixth Form for me, was a school trip we went on. When I was still in primary school we went on a similar type of school trip, where I stayed in a dorm room with guys. But being a kid sleeping with boys in the same room is not quite the same experience as when you're a teenager. I felt so uncomfortable sleeping with guys in the same room, but no one could do anything about it at the time. I knew I couldn't share that with anyone, because they simply wouldn't understand. But I did get through that week, and I was so happy it was over.
It was really weird identifying as someone you weren't quite comfortable being. I used to tell myself 'I'm not trans' every single night in my final year of sixth form, because I knew just how difficult it would be. I would tell myself that this was just a phase and it will pass soon. But how could a feeling you have been bottling up all your life just pass?
I never came out as gay, because I wasn't - at least I knew one thing for sure.
I started growing my hair out just before sixth form, for obvious reasons.
The most difficult part of Sixth Form for me, was a school trip we went on. When I was still in primary school we went on a similar type of school trip, where I stayed in a dorm room with guys. But being a kid sleeping with boys in the same room is not quite the same experience as when you're a teenager. I felt so uncomfortable sleeping with guys in the same room, but no one could do anything about it at the time. I knew I couldn't share that with anyone, because they simply wouldn't understand. But I did get through that week, and I was so happy it over.
What I learnt from sixth form
Apart from learning that I am transgender, and there is nothing I can do to possible change that - I learnt some valuable life lessons.
... that I'm a boss ass bitch
During sixth form I made things happen. I set out to do things, and guess what, I did them. I don't like to blow my own trumpet - but I am extremely proud of everything that I have achieved throughout sixth form.
It wasn't easy, but I feel like I really showed them how it's done.
... that friends can make everything better
I was going through a really confusing and scary point in my life throughout sixth form, and I am not sure I would have been able to stay so positive if not for my friends, who have supported me everyday - in ways they probably didn't even know.
I wish that everyone has amazing friends like mine.
... that you shouldn't try to be the next . . . be the next you.
Once I just let go, everything opened up for me.
No one can be as beautiful and powerful as you are. We all bring something unique and precious to this world.
I feel a bit disappointed that it took me so long to realise this, but now I live every day knowing that people get inspired from you being your best version of yourself that.
Secondary school experience